Behavior Therapy – Only Ask Three Times –when your child won’t listen and obey

Here’s a tip: After you have asked three times for your child to do something, stop being verbal and resort to gestures.

It’s one of those little annoyances that kids will do to manipulate us parents and caregivers for attention. Let’s face it, they all love the sound of mommy’s voice and the more they hear it, the more satisfied they are!

Sit down!
Come around the bed!
Give to mommy!
Wipe your chin!
Lay still!
Don’t move!

The list is endless, but you needn’t go hoarse repeating yourself. If you don’t know sign language that’s okay. Invent a gesture for each command. Using the command will switch gears in their brains where they go from auditory to visual and it may be enough to get the response you are looking for.

Homeopathic Treatment of Children with Down Syndrome

Here is a great article I came across on how Homeopathy was used to treat several young children with Down syndrome in Paderborn, Germany to relieve a multitude of symptoms from:

Recurrent vomiting
Failure to thrive
Recurrent infections of the upper respiratory tract
Enuresis nocturna
Sleep disturbances
Autism and emotional and neurotic ailments

Biting Humor

I just have to report something funny! Our daughter, almost 3 years old, now brings her teeth to a body part of mine and lets me know, by letting her teeth and lips touch my skin, that she’s “about” to bite me. Then, with great speed, she pulls back, looks me straight in the eye with an intellectual look, taps her temple and says, “I remember, I remember!” –she still gets a rise out of me, only this time she knows she is making me smile!

Biting – Reinforcing Good Behaviors

Nothing replaces a good therapist working with you, and I hope that you will find my blog posts inspiring but keep in mind that I am only reporting on what I am learning and experiencing as I make my way along this journey of behavioral changes.

This post is going to be short and sweet. It’s about looking for opportunities to reinforce the good stuff and pre-empting the bad behaviors by redirecting them into positive experiences.

My toddler is clever. She can smell a rat and already she knows we are trying to change her behavior. She is full of resistance and making more fuss than ever before. We have had to take smaller steps than before and we are looking at the littlest things to reinforce. Here’s our list:

– affection
– peaceful behaviors
– nice touching, nice use of hands
– kindly asking for attention
– good waiting (patience)
– following directions, especially on the first request!

Repeat particular phrases over and over that reinforce the good behavior:
– I like when you’re calm. It helps me help you.
– I want to know what you need. Good asking/telling daddy.
– When you are ready to tell me, I will listen. (reinforces: calm gets you what you want)
– I like when you play nice with me.
– That’s good waiting! Mommy likes it when you wait nicely for her.
– When you are calm, mommy can help you.

Stay tuned as our journey continues…

Biting – Trades for Preferred Tasks

You need to teach your child “When I do what I’m asked, I get what I want.”  -Kerri Orr, Behavioral Therapist

Memorize this message because you will be teaching it to your child over and over again. In order to teach this, you must begin with simple trades that your child is capable of doing. For example, my little gal doesn’t obey commands like “bring me your sippy cup” or “bring me a book and I will read it”. She does obey commands like “give me a high five” and “give mommy a kiss”. It’s a simple practice that I am weaving into my daily life that is teaching her that in order to get what she wants, she must give me something first as a trade.

Bargaining examples for a young toddler:
1.) My daughter looks at me in front of a chair and says “up” one of her first words and most often used. I tell her, “First give Mommy a kiss and then I will put you up!” Once I get the kiss (trade unit) I do what she wants (assistance).  
2.) When she asked for cheese, I said, “First give Daddy a high-five and then I will give you some cheese.”
3.) “I know you want to play. Can you give me your brush first? Then we will play.”

Bargaining examples for an older toddler:
1.) First bring me your shoes and then we will go for a walk.
2.) First you need to eat then we will play.
3.) I know you want to go to the park/playground. Thank you for telling me. We will go in ten minutes (set timer). First you need to play here for ten minutes and then mom will take you to the park/playground.

Always keep your end of the bargain immediately after your child has kept their end to maintain consistency and trust.

Another problem: Tissue in the mouth (aka, unacceptable item in mouth)
What child hasn’t chewed paper towel, toilet paper, facial tissues and random paper? My little gal takes after me in this respect as I used to make spit balls as a toddler and place them in little piles. My problem is that my daughter will chew the paper like chewing gum…and won’t spit it out into my hand when I ask her to. This non-compliant behavior could represent a safety issue somewhere else. It has to be handled correctly.

WARNING: If you introduce food as something ‘appropriate for the mouth’ to TRADE for the paper in the mouth you are establishing in the child’s mind the following: “If I have something bad in my mouth, mom will trade me some food for it. Therefore, all I have to do to get food is put something bad in my mouth.”

Here’s a script for a correct trade
Mom: “Would you like some apple (something appropriate in the mouth)? First I need you to take that out of your mouth and give it to me, then you can have the apple.”

Stay tuned for more!

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